5 essential topics to discuss with your partner, preferably before living together!

5 essential topics to discuss with your partner, preferably before living together!

5 essential topics to discuss with your partner, preferably before living together!

After a ton of bad first appointments, heart disappointments, heartbreaking ruptures, and meeting a lot of friendly people who did not suit you, you finally found the right partner for you.

It’s amazing! I’m happy for you.

And then, you want to move to the next step?

It’s easy to think that living together is as simple as combining all our things in one place. It’s so far from reality!

So before you start mixing your things in the back of a trailer truck or sanding champagne, there is an excellent chance to have some serious and necessary conversations to ease the transition.

In addition to being filled with the joy of having found the ideal person for you and being happy to move to a new stage in your relationship, many may forget that running to live together is a big deal.

It’s easier when you see your partner only two or three nights a week or only during the weekend.

Taking a step towards living together, even when you’re ready, is a step that can create some tension.

And if you realized that you are not made to live together? Or that your partner is terrible with financial issues?

Or that your partner wants to receive friends several nights a week, while you expect to spend a quiet evening listening to a good film while being stuck.

The good news?

With only a few conversations, you could quickly reduce or even avoid tensions in your relationship.

I remind you that even if you are already living together, it is ALWAYS time to discuss these topics to enrich your relationship.

Here are 5 topics to discuss before embarking on the adventure of a life together.

1. Quality time for your couple

The quality time for your couple can be:

  • cook dinner together and talk about your day;
  • take a class together;
  • focus on a fun hobby; or
  • plan a future trip.

Quality time is when you interact actively with one another: talk, laugh, etc.

Watching TELEVISION together, reading in the same place, working on your laptop, or being on your cell next to each other on the couch … these are situations where I am sure; you are pleased to be in the company of your partner. But you are not necessarily engaged with this one.

Be sure to let your partner know your needs and what you want. Express how much quality time you want and how much company time you are comfortable with. And vice versa.

It is essential to discuss together with your vision of what defines for each of your quality time and company time.

2. Money

Oh, money … it’s often and almost always a delicate subject!

Do you divide all in half? What if you gain more than your partner? Or if you have similar incomes, but one of you has more debt or a loan to repay?

It is crucial to discuss how you will share groceries and bills before signing anything.

3. Time for oneself

Some of us need to be alone to charge our batteries while others, after a hard day, come back chatting and with a few hugs.

Tell your partner if you need time to be genuinely alone (not to be confused with company time) and graceful, respect your needs.

It is effortless (so much!) To forget yourself and you end up feeling choked or rejected.

4. Cleanliness

If I dared … I would estimate that at least 20% of the arguments begin because of a wet towel on the floor, a bench or tableware lying on the counter.

Before moving in together, have a conversation about the level of cleanliness expected and determine the household responsibilities of each.

It is essential to remember that even if you come to an agreement on your expectations regarding cleanliness, in most couples, one of the two partners is slightly more focus on the household.

He should realize that if his expectations are, for example, to wash the floor with the brush, you must be aware of getting along and not put additional pressure with strict standards on your partner.

5. Social life

Are you a friendly person? And your partner? Do you want to receive often? These are three different things.

Some people like to socialize with friends in restaurants or bars. Some people want to have friends during the week and stay up until the wee hours of the morning.

Before living together, talk to your partner about the lifestyle you want.

How would you feel if he had 8 friends every Monday night to watch football? Who will cook for these friends? Do you want to organize gourmet dinners? Or huge parties?

Have a conversation about this before you feel obligated, frustrated, or ruminate for the next few years.

Living together can be a stressful or exciting step in a relationship. It’s up to you to make sure you have these conversations so that the transition is the easiest, sweetest, and most loving thing.

Have you discussed these topics before living together? Or are they subjects of conflict between you?